A certain man had two sons. The younger son said to his father, "Father, give me my portion of the inheritance." So the father divided what he had and gave the son his share. Not long after that, the younger son gathered up his portion and took a journey into a far country. There he wasted what he had with riotous living. After he had spent all he had, bad times hit and he was in great need. The only work he could find was feeding pigs who ate better than he did. No one would help him. Then he came to himself and said, "How many hired servants of my father's have more than enough to eat, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go to my father, and will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before you, I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired servants.'" So, he traveled back home to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight, and am no more worthy to be called your son." But the father said to his servants, "Bring my best robe, and put it on him; put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet: And bring the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry."
I have come to see that I do the same thing as the prodigal...I'm not sure why, but over and over, I leave home in a similar manner. I leave that place within where I am loved and nurtured and filled, where I am connected to the Source of all goodness and life. But for some reason, I regularly leave this place to travel to a "far country" and end up losing myself in "riotous living"...personally destructive and diminishing. It isn't really living since I lose touch with who I am and become disconnected from the Source of true life. Thankfully, when the hunger hits, I "come to myself" and know what to do: I must return home. And there, back home with me, I am met with compassion and joy...I reconnect to the Source of all that I need and all that I am. The Kingdom of God within is restored...until I wander again to a far country...
Yes, Dear One, do you see that when you look to others for affirmation or attention, you have turned away and abandoned yourself (home) for a far country? With love and compassion, turn back to home and gaze upon the wonder and beauty of your own Being in God's presence.